Posts

Grief

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 Grief. The realization that nothing can fix it, nothing can make it better except the grace and peace of God through time. And here's the thing- getting through enough time for it not to break your heart over and over again is a long way off.  My dad is gone and there is nothing that can bring him back. There is nothing that can erase the memory of the last few moments of life with him. Nothing that can stop the "if I had only known it was the last time..." thoughts running through my head. You think that maybe you've run out of tears when something so small like a Florida State football game and how much he would've loved it comes crashing through your heart and the tears flow again.  People keep asking "how are you" and while I know they mean well and am truly thankful for their concern and I say "I'm fine", the truth is a part of me will never be ok again. There is a part of me that is broken and while it may mend, there will always be

One Tackle

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Some players live in the spotlight. Touchdowns, tackles and amazing plays are just part of Friday night lights. But there are others who suit up every day for practice and every Friday night knowing their playing time will be few and far between and they may never see the spotlight- and that’s ok. They are there for the team. And I don’t mean a list of names that appear together on a roster. I mean a brotherhood of guys who through the summer heat, fall rain, adversity and triumph have each other’s backs. These are the guys that show up for each other over and over, on and off the field.  But every once in a while, the backup guys have their shot at glory and oh what a moment that is. That one touchdown- that one tackle. It’s like they just grew ten feet tall. And the coolest part of it all is how their teammates and coaches react. There are bear hugs, high fives and chest bumps from the moment they come off the field. You would think they just made the winning play of a stat

Hills and Valleys

Today I celebrate five years of marriage with Jeff. I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately and in the words of Melanie Shankle,  “I know that every marriage is more complicated than it appears to be on the surface. It can be a delicate dance of romance, hurt feelings, love, driving carpool, cooking dinner, dreams and a lot of work. It’s hard to know why some marriages survive and others don’t, other than by some combination of pure stubbornness, grit and a lot of prayer.”   Church of the Small Things I think about all of the long standing marriages that have woven a web of love and stability around me my entire life. My parents, both sets of grandparents, Mema and Deedad, aunts, uncles and friends whose marriages have stood the test of time. I think about the marriages that have failed and why- my first one included. I've come to this conclusion. Hills and valleys. It’s all about going through the hills and valleys of life and marriage. Going through it together

Enough

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I have a confession. I am broken and I am flawed. By the world’s standards I am lacking in so many ways and far too often I let that idea control WAY too much of my thought life. I do not have the body I had at nineteen or heck even at thirty and probably never will again. Yet I allow the world to make me feel like I am less valuable because I can’t fit into a pair of size two jeans. Oh who am I kidding, I haven’t worn a size two since I was a toddler. I see so many of my beautiful friends fighting this same battle every day as well. They feel defeated and depleted because they don’t look like the world has convinced us we should look. We run ourselves ragged trying to have it all. By today’s standards the modern woman should have a lucrative career, be a perfect mother carefully balancing between being the overly protective helicopter mom and the laid back free-range mother and that’s just to keep DHR off of your doorstep. We should be carefully nipped, injected and tucked so no one

My Mom is Better Than Yours

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My mom is better than yours. No seriously there have been few to walk the earth who are better mothers than the woman who raised me. When I think about my mother selfless is the first word that pops into my head. She has always put others first. It's reflected in everything she does. In her marriage to my dad, she happily goes along with whatever his latest love is-another boat, a fishing cabin, another fishing trip- you name it. And here's the thing that has always amazed me, she truly is happy for him to have and do whatever his heart desires. She's the same with my brother and I. She will drop everything to help us with whatever whenever we need her to without question. With my children, there is NEVER EVER a doubt on whether or not Dear is going to show up at their latest sports endeavors, school functions or church events. They have grown up knowing that no matter what, they can always count on her. This is a truth her family knows all too well.  She taught us morals

People Have Lost Their Minds

Ok, let me preface this by saying I am not a perfect parent nor do I pretend to know all of the answers and this is simply my opinion but I have been holding this in for a long time now and just have to say it...people have lost their minds. Between the news and social media I just want to move out to the middle of nowhere, grow my own food and home school my children (and not because I think public education is failing)- except I really don't like to get dirty and I'm pretty sure my children have surpassed my educational expertise. But let me get back to the point. Today I was reading a post on Facebook complete with filmed evidence of a fight at a local high school. People were losing their minds over this. "OMG, I'd pull my kid out of that school so fast" and yada yada yada wrote several commentators. Seriously people, get a grip. Fights have been happening in high schools and middle schools since our grandparents attended school. It's not the end of t

A Little Reading Material...

So at Bunko last month, a couple of friends suggested I write a blog about books I've read or am reading that I would recommend. Let me preface this by saying most things I've read come through recommendations from others. But I will pass along a few books I enjoyed or that impacted me in some significant way. I'll provide a little blurb about each but understand I certainly can not articulate in a brief sentence or two what these amazing authors have put together. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did! Parenting: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch- this is a great short read filled with life lessons from a dying man. What I loved most about this book was his discussion on the impact the way his mother parented had on him fulfilling his dreams. Five Conversations to Have with Your Son by Vicki Courtney- I'm 2/3 into this but I really love it. It hits home with how society has slowly turned boys into men who don't know how to be men and how mom's effect tha