Life According to Brandy

 Grief. The realization that nothing can fix it, nothing can make it better except the grace and peace of God through time. And here's the thing- getting through enough time for it not to break your heart over and over again is a long way off.  My dad is gone and there is nothing that can bring him back. There is nothing that can erase the memory of the last few moments of life with him. Nothing that can stop the "if I had only known it was the last time..." thoughts running through my head. You think that maybe you've run out of tears when something so small like a Florida State football game and how much he would've loved it comes crashing through your heart and the tears flow again.  People keep asking "how are you" and while I know they mean well and am truly thankful for their concern and I say "I'm fine", the truth is a part of me will never be ok again. There is a part of me that is broken and while it may mend, there will always be ...

Some players live in the spotlight. Touchdowns, tackles and amazing plays are just part of Friday night lights. But there are others who suit up every day for practice and every Friday night knowing their playing time will be few and far between and they may never see the spotlight- and that’s ok. They are there for the team. And I don’t mean a list of names that appear together on a roster. I mean a brotherhood of guys who through the summer heat, fall rain, adversity and triumph have each other’s backs. These are the guys that show up for each other over and over, on and off the field.  But every once in a while, the backup guys have their shot at glory and oh what a moment that is. That one touchdown- that one tackle. It’s like they just grew ten feet tall. And the coolest part of it all is how their teammates and coaches react. There are bear hugs, high fives and chest bumps from the moment they come off the field. You would think they just made the winning play of a ...

Today I celebrate five years of marriage with Jeff. I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately and in the words of Melanie Shankle,  “I know that every marriage is more complicated than it appears to be on the surface. It can be a delicate dance of romance, hurt feelings, love, driving carpool, cooking dinner, dreams and a lot of work. It’s hard to know why some marriages survive and others don’t, other than by some combination of pure stubbornness, grit and a lot of prayer.”   Church of the Small Things I think about all of the long standing marriages that have woven a web of love and stability around me my entire life. My parents, both sets of grandparents, Mema and Deedad, aunts, uncles and friends whose marriages have stood the test of time. I think about the marriages that have failed and why- my first one included. I've come to this conclusion. Hills and valleys. It’s all about going through the hills and valleys of life and marriage. Going through it toge...

I have a confession. I am broken and I am flawed. By the world’s standards I am lacking in so many ways and far too often I let that idea control WAY too much of my thought life. I do not have the body I had at nineteen or heck even at thirty and probably never will again. Yet I allow the world to make me feel like I am less valuable because I can’t fit into a pair of size two jeans. Oh who am I kidding, I haven’t worn a size two since I was a toddler. I see so many of my beautiful friends fighting this same battle every day as well. They feel defeated and depleted because they don’t look like the world has convinced us we should look. We run ourselves ragged trying to have it all. By today’s standards the modern woman should have a lucrative career, be a perfect mother carefully balancing between being the overly protective helicopter mom and the laid back free-range mother and that’s just to keep DHR off of your doorstep. We should be carefully nipped, injected and tucked so no one ...

My mom is better than yours. No seriously there have been few to walk the earth who are better mothers than the woman who raised me. When I think about my mother selfless is the first word that pops into my head. She has always put others first. It's reflected in everything she does. In her marriage to my dad, she happily goes along with whatever his latest love is-another boat, a fishing cabin, another fishing trip- you name it. And here's the thing that has always amazed me, she truly is happy for him to have and do whatever his heart desires. She's the same with my brother and I. She will drop everything to help us with whatever whenever we need her to without question. With my children, there is NEVER EVER a doubt on whether or not Dear is going to show up at their latest sports endeavors, school functions or church events. They have grown up knowing that no matter what, they can always count on her. This is a truth her family knows all too well.  She taught us morals...

Ok, let me preface this by saying I am not a perfect parent nor do I pretend to know all of the answers and this is simply my opinion but I have been holding this in for a long time now and just have to say it...people have lost their minds. Between the news and social media I just want to move out to the middle of nowhere, grow my own food and home school my children (and not because I think public education is failing)- except I really don't like to get dirty and I'm pretty sure my children have surpassed my educational expertise. But let me get back to the point. Today I was reading a post on Facebook complete with filmed evidence of a fight at a local high school. People were losing their minds over this. "OMG, I'd pull my kid out of that school so fast" and yada yada yada wrote several commentators. Seriously people, get a grip. Fights have been happening in high schools and middle schools since our grandparents attended school. It's not the end of t...

So at Bunko last month, a couple of friends suggested I write a blog about books I've read or am reading that I would recommend. Let me preface this by saying most things I've read come through recommendations from others. But I will pass along a few books I enjoyed or that impacted me in some significant way. I'll provide a little blurb about each but understand I certainly can not articulate in a brief sentence or two what these amazing authors have put together. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did! Parenting: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch- this is a great short read filled with life lessons from a dying man. What I loved most about this book was his discussion on the impact the way his mother parented had on him fulfilling his dreams. Five Conversations to Have with Your Son by Vicki Courtney- I'm 2/3 into this but I really love it. It hits home with how society has slowly turned boys into men who don't know how to be men and how mom's effect tha...

It's been a while since I've blogged. I barely remembered how to log in to the site- lol! There are a lot of changes headed our way. It's amazing to me how life just has a way of working out. I guess that's why I am learning to stress a lot less the older I get. God continues to show me He's in charge and already has everything all worked out. We are in the process of building our new home. It's wonderful and the fact that Jeff basically designed it (working from several sets of plans) is even better. It truly is a home built for a family. I can't wait to hear the voices and laughter of my family filling the rooms. I foresee days of watching Alabama football on the back porch and many great meals being enjoyed in our kitchen (Jeff cooking them of course, lol!). As of this Tuesday, everything will be decided and we can sit back and watch it all come together. I can't wait!!! It's only two months until our wedding. It's going to be such a wonderf...

So tonight we were sitting at my parents & Grant looks at me and says "momma (which he has decided to now call me because he thinks mommy is too babyish), Cooper (my mom's Elf on a Shelf) must REALLY be an elf on the shelf because the only place he has hooded (plural for hide-lol) is on a shelf! Now Mason's new thing that cracks me up is he's decided if you kiss under the mistletoe you've been "mistletoed"! So he keeps asking me if I am going to "mistletoe" Jeff when he gets here. Haha!

So here is just the typical drive home... Tonight we were on the way home and saw two cars chasing each other and I said they better stop or they will get a ticket for reckless driving or kill someone. Hence the question was posed from the back seat "what happens when you get a ticket?" So I went onto explain how you have to pay a fine and get a point on your drivers license which effects the cost of your insurance. "Insurance, what's that?" they ask. So I continue explaining how insurance works. Mason then replied "well do you have your insurance with Geico? Because they want to save people hundreds on car insurance"!! I died laughing. Then he says "Wow mom, why is life so complicated? You weren't kidding when you said nothing is for free!" Ahh, to see life through the eyes of a child.

So I happen to think when God is trying to teach us something he places reoccurring themes of His message all throughout our life. As I have joked with my bible study class, I am apparently in the remedial class on a few lessons He's trying to teach because I seem to have to learn them over and over. Anyway, recently this concept of God's love for us has been popping up everywhere. Now I know we are taught from a very young age "Jesus Loves Me" but how often do we REALLY ponder that thought. I was watching the Passion of the Christ Sunday night and a thought occurred to me. Think of the kindest, most giving, humble person you know. Now think of watching that person being almost beaten to death and then tortured on a cross all because of you...because of something you had done. Or imagine your child being tortured for someone else's crimes. That's how much God loves us. Amazing. And even more than that, it amazes me how he turns our messes into something beauti...

So I have I often thought I would love to record the conversations in our car to and from school. Case in point, this morning. I had already dropped Mason off and we were sitting at a red light when Grant says "that looks like Osama Bin Laden". (He saw a tiny bit of a 911 special with me). I said "well it's not, Osama doesn't live in Dothan. He's over in the middle east". To which he immediately replies, "well he could've moved here to hide from the army guys". Me: "No I'm pretty sure that's not him. Grant: "Are you absolutely sure?" Me: "No not 100%" Grant: "I'm pretty sure it is"...and he continues on with a whole scenario of why Osama Bin Laden now resides in Dothan. So Homeland Security apparently you've been looking in the wrong place! Haha! Geez where does he get this stuff.

Everyday I read my friend Deborah's blog and I am reminded how precious life is and how to count my blessings. She spends everyday watching her precious baby girl grow and breathe. Since baby Tera was born at 26 weeks this is an amazing thing to watch. I can tell she's changed a lot since she made her entrance a few weeks ago. So this has me thinking about all of the amazing things God has blessed me with. I have two healthy, intelligent little boys who keep me laughing and very busy. I have two beautiful, intelligent soon-to-be step daughters who I can't wait to see all the time. I have a wonderful fiance' who is ALWAYS there for me and makes me laugh along the way. He is truly a great man. My parents have been married 40 years and have set such amazing examples of how to parent and what true love is all about. They taught me what was important in life and how to live my life with integrity. My brother spends a lot of his time volunteering for various organizations tr...

Right now my bible study group is doing a study on Jonah and we have been talking about what happens when prayers don't turn out the way we imagine. How do we handle that? Do we get angry and pout with God or do we see it as a blessing? I have to admit, I've done more pouting in my life than I should've. So it got me thinking about my life right now. Over two years ago I got down on my knees and prayed for God to send a wonderful, kind, honest, Godly man into mine and my children's lives. I seemed to have spent so much of my life praying for the man I was with to change to become all of those things and had never really realized it. SO I decided to try something new-someone who was all of those things from the get go. In October of 2009 my prayers were answered in the strangest way. I received a Friend Request from an old friend I grew up with in church and thus began the path that brought Jeff and I together. Now I have to admit, never in a million years did I imagine ...

I'm new to the blog thing so we will see how this goes. But I like to write so I thought-why not? Guess I can use it for my non-facebook using friends! :)