Grief
Grief. The realization that nothing can fix it, nothing can make it better except the grace and peace of God through time. And here's the thing- getting through enough time for it not to break your heart over and over again is a long way off. My dad is gone and there is nothing that can bring him back. There is nothing that can erase the memory of the last few moments of life with him. Nothing that can stop the "if I had only known it was the last time..." thoughts running through my head. You think that maybe you've run out of tears when something so small like a Florida State football game and how much he would've loved it comes crashing through your heart and the tears flow again. People keep asking "how are you" and while I know they mean well and am truly thankful for their concern and I say "I'm fine", the truth is a part of me will never be ok again. There is a part of me that is broken and while it may mend, there will always be